Fortune Telling Jokes

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Joke 1

Long ago, in imperial China, there were three scholars on the way to the Capital. They were sitting for the imperial examinations. The top scholar had the chance for a high ranking government post. He even had the opportunity to marry the Princess.

The three scholars entered a small town and saw a fortune teller. This fortune teller claimed to be a demigod and able to foretell with 100% accuracy.

The three scholars asked him about the coming examination. They specifically asked who will pass the imperial examination. The fortune teller closed his eyes and lifted his index finger.

The three scholars were puzzled, but the fortune teller refused to say a single word.

What did one finger mean? They wondered.

Well, it could mean any of these 4 scenarios: a. Only one of them passed the imperial examination b. Only one of them failed the imperial examination c. Not a single one of them passed the imperial examination d. Not a single one of them failed the imperial examination

The fortune teller lived up to his reputation. He did foretell with accuracy. The single finger provided an answer to all possible scenarios. fortune_teller_by_ishaansharma456-d6m9l0i

Joke 2

A man who was unlucky with lottery went to consult a fortune teller. He was unhappy with his lottery luck.

Whenever he forgot to buy his numbers, the numbers came out in the draw. Whenever he bought a lottery ticket, none of the numbers match the winning combination.

The fortune teller told him: “Do not worry. Today is your lucky day. The purple astrology chart reveals that you will receive money from outside. This could mean winning the lottery or winning a lucky draw.”

This guy was very happy. He spent twenty dollars to bet on his numbers.

Well, he did not win the lottery but he did pick up a 10 cents coin on his way home.

Joke 3

A man had a nightmare. He wanted to know the significance of his dream, so he approached a fortune teller.

“I dream of dead people. There are a lot of dead people. Everywhere I look, there are dead people.”

The fortune teller rejoiced and explained that it was an auspicious dream. Dreaming of dead people meant that this man would be famous in a short time.

This guy was very pleased. He went back to the office, dreaming of the day when he became famous.

He started to scan email and forwarded them to his colleagues for further actions. His attention was still on holiday mood when he forwarded the email containing a top secret to global email address list, all the suppliers and personal friends.

This email contained a listing of companies that his company was targeting to acquire.

He did become famous, although not for the reason he envisaged.


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